Tue, 15 मई, 2012
For all Gujjus !!! (Read & Just Laugh. Just for fun, nothing serious buddy. )
Unmistakable characteristics of a true Gujju's:
- Every autowala, taxiwala, grocerywala is our kaka.
- We never go to office, we go to HOFFIS!
- The first rule of money - never use your own!
- "Su nava juni" is our version of wassup?
- Be it seven in the morning or 1am, gaathiyas are always welcome.
Sat, 10 Oct, 2009
આપણે ગુજરાતીઓ .....
હોટેલમાં કોઈ ચા મંગાવે અને ચામાં માખી પડે તો શું થાય…. ?
(1) ચોખ્ખાઈનો આગ્રહી બ્રિટિશર ચા પીધા વગર ભરેલો કપ તરછોડીને જતો રહે.
(2) 'કેર-ફ્રી' સ્વભાવવાળો અમેરિકન ચામાંથી માખી કાઢી ચા પી જાય.
(3) 'ચાલુ' સ્વભાવવાળો ઓસ્ટ્રેલિયન ચા ઢોળી કપ લઈને જતો રહે.
(4) 'ચિત્ર-વિચિત્ર' ખાનારો ચીનો માખી ઊપાડીને ખાઈ જાય.
આ સમયે એક 'મહાન વ્યક્તિ' ત્યાં હાજર હોય તો એ શું કરે ખબર છે? એ 'મહાન' વ્યક્તિ બ્રિટિશર પાસેથી તરછોડેલી ચાના પૈસા લે. એણે તરછોડેલી ચા અમેરિકનને વેચી દે, કપ ઓસ્ટ્રેલિયનને વેચી અને અને માખી ચીનાને વેચી દે! બધાના પૈસા ખિસ્સામાં મૂકી ઘર ભેગો થઈ જાય. આ સોલિડ ગણતરીબાજ મહાન વ્યક્તિ એટલે કોણ ખબર છે ? આ અદ્દભુત, જોરદાર મહાનુભાવ એટલે 'ગુજરાતી' !
આખી દુનિયામાં 'વર્લ્ડ બેસ્ટ વેપારી'નો જેને એવોર્ડ મળેલો છે, તે છે – હું, તમે અને આપણે બધા – 'ગુજરાતીઓ', પણ આપણે માત્ર વેપારી જ નથી, વેપારીથી પણ વિશેષ છીએ. આપણો સ્વભાવ, આપણી આદતો, આપણી ખાસિયતો આપણને બીજાથી નોખાં અને જુદાં બનાવે છે. તો ચાલો આપણે ગુજરાતીઓ કેવા છીએ એની ચર્ચા આજે એરણ ઉપર ચઢાવીએ.
Sat, 24 Jan, 2009
Pahele Alibaba Aur 40 Chor tha
Alibaba Aur 30 chor ban gaya
Poocho Kyon ?
. Read more »
Wed, 10 Dec, 2008
Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kantibhai Shah.
Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave. 2000 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'
Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people may leave. 2000 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays.
Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave. 500 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room.
Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate.
Everyone else has gone. Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.' Calmly, Kantibhai turns to the other candidate and says `kem chho?' The other candidate answers 'ek dam majama..'
Sat, 22 Nov, 2008
A Sardarji and his wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue,and they decide to stop for a rest.
They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.
The Sardarji explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350. When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to the Sardarji, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use.
"But we didn't use them", the Sardarji complains.
"Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the Manager.
He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.
"But we didn't go to any of those shows," sardarji complains again.
"Well, we have them, and you could have", the Manager replies.
No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the sardarji replies "But we didn't use it"
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the Sardarji finally gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the Manager. The Manager is surprised when the looks at the check.
"But sir," he says, "this check is only made out for $1.00".
"That's right," says the sardarji,
"I charged you $349 for sleeping with my wife."
"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.
"Well," the Sardarji replies, "she was here, and you could have."
Cheers for sardars !!!!
Sat, 22 Nov, 2008
(1) Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.
(2) Having one child makes you a parent. Having two makes you a referee.
(3) Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
(4) I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried-but they wanted cash.
(5) A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.
(6) Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
(7) Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without. (In both cases, you'll regret it later)
(8) You can't buy or negotiate love. You have to pay heavily in any case.
(9) Bad MPs are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
(10) Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
(11) Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
(12) My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.
(13) Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
(14) Ladies first...... Pretty ladies sooner.
(15) A successful marriage requires falling in love over & over again,.... with the same person.
(16) You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.
(17) It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job,he still ends up with the same boss.
(18) Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
(19) Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
(20) Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.